i just google imaged poop.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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