These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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