We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He kissed a someone with a penis
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
