Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
