I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
