I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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