You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
