Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
im six kinds of drunk right now
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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