it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
