Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I party with great urgency now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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