i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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