You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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