1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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