Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
