Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
