They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
