"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
where are you?
Hypothermia
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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