This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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