She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
