i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No stitches, just platelets and will power
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i out mim tonsoeep
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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