I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
