TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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