I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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