I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
