five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
