shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
