his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
