yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm sobbing to NWA
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize