your room smells of hookers.
And success
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
