i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
