if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize