That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
