Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
