toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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