Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
