blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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