Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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