I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
