Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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