We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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