I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize