Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize