how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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