I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
