Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm bleeding and have questions
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
