Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
