halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
