So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize