Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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