Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
her vagine was all disorganized.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
