some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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