I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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