i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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