Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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