So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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