I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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