I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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