he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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