don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
