The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
